6 Comments

3-5; 5-40 – I will never give up. Why would Mom?

nevergiveupFor those of you that play tennis, as the person who was serving at 5-40 when the game score is 3-5, you know I’ve dug myself a pretty good pit. Sadly, this type of situation is a bit of my tennis game calling card. With my partner, we went on to win the set 7-6.

I love competition and in this situation, all I can say is “never give up, never surrender” which is just a silly line from the movie Galaxy Quest. I will focus on just playing that point and plod my way on. I won’t recognize a lost match until the final score actually has me losing. I am a little worried that is not always a good thing.

I recognize, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My mom is a fighter and has rebounded through issue after issue. In my last conversation with the hospice care team, I again requested that we consider something for mom’s depression. She seems infinitely sad on most visits. It’s easy to find ways to brighten her day, but I know that she’s dealing with the loss of freedom, understanding, and independence as her cognitive abilities decline.

The doctor has approved a new medication that should help her depression as well as will increase her appetite. All things considered, who doesn’t want to die fat and happy? Questioned.

6 comments on “3-5; 5-40 – I will never give up. Why would Mom?

  1. Personally, I would prefer to die feeling what I’m feeling… ❤ Tough call.

  2. We are reversing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease right now. Please read the MEND study to get a sense of what I’m doing. If we can get to the patients early enough, we can reverse the process. Our patients, curiously, never remember the period during which they had dementia.

  3. I work with families and those dealing with dementia. The aging process in many will bring on depression because of the loss of independence as you have mentioned. Most families keep mom or dad at home as long as possible. In our area of Santa Clara and Santa Cruz Counties in California, the Dementia Care Communities that we work with have trained professionals that ease the burden of loss and the sadness by adjusting activities of daily life to fit the capabilities of those dealing with this illness. Music therapy, water therapy, diet, ways in which we approach to help bathe or clothe someone. Holistic approaches. If it were my mom, when the time is right, I would find the best caring community I could find. And sometimes that involves medication but not always. Each person is unique and will age in their own unique personalities.

    • Thanks Kathy. I did an extensive search for all the things you speak of and had to move mom from the CCRC she chose because it wasn’t the best fit. I hired a local firm that specializes in helping and after narrowing it down to 3 communities, my siblings came to town and helped make the final selection. We moved mom from the assisted living community into a memory care community where they are much better attuned to help manage her needs. We had 3 great choices.

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