As my siblings and I watch the impact of the choice my parents made, we grapple with the realization that we don’t want to follow in their footsteps. For more than twenty years my mother told me they would make sure they did not do to us what their parents did to them. Unfortunately, because of the dementia, my parents had no idea how difficult my life became when they failed to follow the plans they had made.
I came across this story today: Some with Alzheimer’s find care in far-off nations. The husband, who is from Switzerland, shared he is considering a community in Thailand for his wife who suffers from Alzheimer’s because it is “not only less expensive but more personal.”
This statement is something my siblings and I are facing. My mother is safe and cared for, but we know the staff does not have the time to spend with those in Assisted Living that their families believe would occur.Many are very loving and well-trained, but we are all struggling with how to squelch the loneliness and isolation my Mom is facing. She won’t join in the activities they offer and without short-term memory, it’s difficult for well-meaning friends to help. My Mom’s always been a lone wolf.
I shared the story of the woman who fell on the way to change her television, and recently there have been other incidents that are disturbing in that on the surface, they illustrate the inability to provide vigilant and personal care for each resident. I truly can’t imagine that a business could really provide the type of care each resident deserves. It’s why I consider myself a caregiver, even through my Mom is in an Assisted Living facility.
I’m not sure sending off a loved one to another country is the right answer, but I’m not sure I’d mind aging in paradise. Conflicted.
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Five Steps for a More Affordable Retirement (Huff Post)