8 Comments

A reminder to be kindler, gentler, more understanding when dementia is diagnosed

Azheimer's RequestAn old friend from high-school posted this on Facebook.

I prefer to just speak to dementia given Alzheimer’s is just one type under the umbrella of dementia. May this bring you and your loved ones peace and understanding. Enjoyed. 

Dementia Request

Do not ask me to remember, don’t try to make me understand. Let me rest and know you’re with me, kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I’m confused beyond your concept, I’m sad and sick and lost. All I know is that I need you, to be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me, do not scold or curse or cry, I can’t help the way I’m acting, I can’t be different through I try.

Just remember that I need you, that the best of me is gone. Please don’t fail to stand beside me, love me ’til my life is gone.

8 comments on “A reminder to be kindler, gentler, more understanding when dementia is diagnosed

  1. I really love this post. My grandmother recently passed away. She suffered from dementia for many years and in her final two years of life had Alzheimer’s. It was a very hard diagnosis for our family. Now, I find myself caregiving for my Dad who is a PTSD military Veteran and I’m seeing early signs of forgetfulness and some dementia related behavior. I’m thinking, “here we go again.” I have to remind myself to be patient and calm. To understand the complications of it all and work with my Dad, as he gets so angry and frustrated about it, too. He’s a proud man. This is hard for him. I thank you (and your Facebook friend) for posting this. I’m going to print it out and put it up on my fridge. Thanks so much. Please check out my blog, as well: https://caregivercurio.wordpress.com/

    • Thanks for the note. It touched me and I had to post it right away. My Dad was believed to have Alzheimer’s and my Mom has multi-infarct which means she has more than one kind. There are so many types of dementia. It changes each person differently. Best wishes to you on your journey.

  2. Reblogged this on What Joy Thinks… and commented:
    I work in sales/admissions in the assisted living/memory care industry and there is no other job like it. I’ve meet up to 50 families in a month that are in “crisis” mode. Struggling to take care of their loved ones, to keep them safe, to make sure they eat, bath, dress, sleep… Sons and daughters, husbands and wives that have dedicated their lives to becoming a caregiver for their loved one. A loved one who they can not longer understand or connect with. They express feelings of confusion, hurt, anger, guilt, sorrow, and anxiety. They don’t understand what is happening and “why won’t she listen to me?” Bolts, locks, and wind chimes on the doors and windows. Hiding their keys and dangerous utensils…. I’ve heard so many stories, and when they tell them they cry, then laugh, then cry again. Dementia is horrible, horrible disease. And being a caregiver is the most challenging job of all time. It’s impossible to do it all alone without burning yourself out and burning your relationship with your loved one with dementia in the process. If you ever get to that point, it’s understandable… because YOU ARE HUMAN. Just remember, that your loved one is human too. As I was reading this “alzheimer’s request”, the voices of my residents started to take over the words, as I pictured all of their faces. The faces of someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband… with dementia. Then I noticed that all of their faces were smiling… And oh how they deserve to SMILE. If you are a caregiver and you feel overwhelmed, alone, burned out, depressed, or hopeless, seek support and guidance today. There are so many resources out there to help you in this journey. Start with your local Alzheimer’s Association – and you can always reach out to me.

  3. […] posted the poem for those who are caring for someone with dementia which is a stark reminder of the situati…. As the reports from Assisted Living put it, my Mom can be “verbally abusive.” As her […]

  4. […] mind and remind myself of the a poem someone shared with me a few months ago that I renamed the Dementia Request. Each time I gain a little more understanding. Absorbed. […]

  5. […] This one poem always gives me some perspective when I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and sad… […]

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