Hand-holding is Underrated

hold handMy brother knows of my personal , non-medical, opinion that General Anesthesia would be hard cognitively on my Dad. I agree that we need to walk this next step and should have this discussion with his primary care doctor.

We can’t get into to see my Dad’s doctor until next week. She is part of a practice, so I explain the situation and ask her to get me the first appointment with ANY doctor in the practice.

We get in the following day and the appointment is a disaster. None of my Dad’s records are correct and the Doctor is aggravated that he doesn’t have any specific orders. He comes in to sit with my brother and I and we walk him through our goal.

During this visit, my Dad has fallen asleep on the examining table. The doctor tells us he needs to do an EKG and review his blood work. The EKG reveals some irregularities and now we are referred to a Cardiologist.

My Dad isn’t eating or drinking much and is very weak. As we are leaving the doctor’s,  I grab his hand to help him walk.

I haven’t held hands with my Dad since I was a small child. My 49-year old hand fits easily into his 81-year old hand and we comfortably stroll back to the car to go home. Loved. 

7 comments on “Hand-holding is Underrated

  1. That’s so sweet. I remember holding my Dad’s hand when he was in the hospital and how it was the first time doing so since I was a little kid. I agree with you, holding hands is such a simple act of love and comfort and we should do it more often!

  2. Touching each other — something that is under used and under rated. Just being there can help, but nothing beats the human touch! I am very impressed a d emotional just reading about your journey with your father’s latest problem. Having a father with dementia, I can relate to your concerns about anesthesia, intubation and all the other medical procedures. It is so hard to know when to say no when there seem to be no other alternatives. Prayers for all of you.

  3. […] Ultimately, I am thankful for the time I had with my father and treasure the final days we spent together — especially because I had no idea they would be our last days and memories together. […]

  4. […] This journey has changed the trajectory of my family, my career and my friendships. The death of my father fractured my strength. It felt like a section of my foundation was missing. While I watched as I lost my Dad in increments due to his Alzheimer’s — many of his characteristics were still in tact. I could still talk with him, he was still very kind, he cracked jokes and I could even hold his hand. […]

  5. […] I work in a hug, a kiss or a hand-hold. One of the most memorable moments I spent with my Dad was holding his hand last September, two weeks before he […]

  6. […] My Mom is sleeping most of the day now and I have to wake her when I arrive to take her to the Cardiologist. A few weeks ago, my Mom started walking very stiffly. As we walk to the car, she lets me hold her hand for support. She doses off in the waiting room and when we reach the examination room, she just wants to lie down and sleep. She actually sleeps through the EKG. I feel a sense of deja vu back to my Dad’s final doctor visits. […]

  7. […] mentioned this is always a nice way to spend time with his wife. I agree. I shared my feeling that hand holding was underrated as I was navigating my dad’s cancer options about 2 years […]

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