We are moving you into Assisted Living

moveThe Executive Director (ED) of the retirement community requested a meeting with my parents. I know she will be informing them they are being transitioned from Independent into Assisted Living. We arrive and are sent back into the conference room. My mom is chattering away, she is nervous. She has no recollection of this meeting room although we have been in here together at least twice before in the past two months. The ED and Manager of Independent Living join us. The ED explains why she called the meeting and informs my parents that in two days, they will be helping them move into their new apartment in Assisted Living. She hands them a copy of the letter detailing this change and the move date.

My mom tells the ED she won’t be moving and challenges her to provide specific incidents as to why this change is being made. The ED agrees to deliver a time line of events later in the day but does detail several recent incidents. My mom refutes each one. Deftly, the ED suggests we go look at the new apartment.

My dad agrees and asks if I will come along. I tell him I will. My mom refuses to go. As we are walking out, I ask my mom if she will join us. She has decided to stop and get some tea instead. The Manager of Independent Living says she will walk down with her once her tea is ready. My dad and I leave with the ED.

We arrive and I can’t bear to watch my dad. It’s a bedroom, living room and kitchenette with one bathroom. It’s the largest of the Assisted Living suites. My parents are both very mobile, which isn’t always the case for those moving in, which is why most Assisted Living units are so small. My parents are having to move from their 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom expansive apartment to this 400 square foot apartment.

My mom arrives and complains about the size, the carpet, the kitchen … the ED does a great job of selling the benefits and the positives.

The walk back to their apartment is quiet. My mom is holding the letter in her hand and no one talks. I am worried about what will happen when we get behind closed doors.

I text my brothers “911” so they know to get to the apartment immediately. I’m going to need some reinforcements. Revealed.

10 comments on “We are moving you into Assisted Living

  1. Hi Kay,
    I feel your pain and trepidation, and I feel your parents loss and grief, and the devastation of moving into a miniature ‘home’. You will need all the reinforcements you can muster.

  2. […] parents have just been told they are being moved into Assisted Living in two days. No one said a word as we walked back from the meeting, but as soon as we walk into my […]

  3. […] parents have now been notified that they are going to be moved into Assisted Living in two days. My mom is very upset over this and wants to fight it while my dad has agreed to go […]

  4. […] are in Day 2 of purgatory. My parent’s were notified they will be transferred to Assisted Living and we are managing through “the day after notification”. Tomorrow, the movers will […]

  5. […] After being notified, she finds a lawyer listed in the resident’s directory and makes an appointment. However, she fails to remember she made the appointment and does not meet the lawyer when he arrived. My brother stayed in the apartment to meet him and give him an explanation. […]

  6. […] parent’s are looking forward to having all the kids in town. After they were notified and we spent the rest of the day discussing and dealing with our very agitated mom, we stopped […]

  7. […] remember walking into the apartment with my Dad for the first time. I had to blink vigorously to keep the tears in my eyes. My Dad fully understood what was happening […]

  8. […] When we were told a few months ago that we might need to find a new home for my Mom by her community, we started to look around. We realize there are a wide variety of community options as well as range of fees. Given what I’ve found, I am not clear on what the very large down-payment did for their finances. I do know that the community support saved up from having to pursue guardianship of my parents when they didn&#8217…. […]

  9. […] We were forced by the community to move my parents.  My parents refused to move from their apartment until the community threatened to evict them from their apartment. […]

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