6 Comments

We have a meeting with the Executive Director at 11 a.m.

jerkToday is the day when my parents will be told that they are being transferred to Assisted Living. My mom knew she had this appointment with the Executive Director and has been asking me if I think it’s about moving the frame chopper into their apartment. When I arrive today my mom is anxious.

My parents didn’t ask me to accompany them, but the retirement community requires that I’m at this meeting since I hold my parents power-of-attorney. My parents are happy to see me and my mom wants to discuss all the reasons they should be allowed to move the frame chopper into their apartment. We spend some time walking through the measurements again.

I feel like a jerk. I know what’s coming. I sit down and we talk through how the chopper would fit in their guest bedroom. She shares that she’s worried they might be asked to give up the second half of their apartment. They took a 2 bedroom and connected it to a 1 bedroom.

I remind her that they moved into this retirement community because they wanted help managing through the retirement years. The apartment they created and decorated was featured on many of the open houses the community hosts for prospective residents. It is a nice, gracious apartment. She tells me I’m a good talker and I stated that so well, I need to speak on their behalf at the meeting today. Double Jerk!

We have been concerned for my parents safety and enough events have occurred that the retirement community is exercising their right to transition my parents to Assisted Living. My parents have resisted every change or suggestion of change. We knew this would be difficult, so my siblings and I worked with the Executive Director on how to best communicate and make this transition.

I tell my mom that the Executive Director called this meeting and we just need to show up to hear what she has to say. I know I played a role in orchestrating how this news would be communicated and while I know it’s the right decision, the process has made me uncomfortable. Shamefaced.

6 comments on “We have a meeting with the Executive Director at 11 a.m.

  1. Kay, believe me, this emotion is part of the course, you are doing the right
    thing for your parents. Your parents may not be happy, but they will learn
    to tolerate the change and adjust. You will be the bad guy now just like they
    were the bad guys when you were a child. Hopefully they will become happy
    and you won’t be the bad guy forever.

  2. I feel like a jerk ever so often. With no siblings, it extra sucks being the only rationale grown up in the room. I am whining. Hang in.

  3. Dear Kay,
    Sometimes doing the RIGHT thing, feels like the worst thing.
    I feel your pain and shame as we went through this when we moved my father in law into assisted living 😦
    Rest assured, you are doing the right thing.
    Sending hugs,
    Kate

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