That guy is an *#%#!@#

My dad wants us to take his route to the lunch room today. We skip the elevator and he takes us down one flight of stairs. We are walking down a hallway I haven’t been in before.

As we are walking, my mom points to an apartment door and says “That guy is an *#%#!@#.”

I see the last name and I know why my parents don’t like this man. However, I also know that he died two years ago.

What happened to forgive and forget? My husband has chided me a time or two because he thinks sometimes I forgive and forget way to easily. I believe those feelings just weigh you down. Life’s already hard without spending time to carry a grudge around.

I realize that because of the dementia in my parents, some memories just get stuck. From what I learned about the reason my parents didn’t like this man, he was actually doing what my grandfather had given him permission to do.

By the time the letter from my grandfather was found, my parents had disliked this man for so long, they could never let it go. That happened a few years ago.

It makes me realize how long ago the first signs of their dementia were emerging. Even though I recognized it at the time, there was still nothing we could do about it. Reflected.

3 comments on “That guy is an *#%#!@#

  1. HI ay,

    Life is one crazy journey, and there are definitely things or events or people in all our lives that influence us in ways we don’t expect, nor even see sometimes. Postive and negative reactions are par for the course; I often wonder if only we could pre-select our the effect of events!!

    For example your blog gives me more insight (albeit a bit scary) into what is ahead of me, and in a strange sort of way this preparation allows me to be more welcoming or accepting of new changes when they appear.

    With love and hope, and thanks,

    Ps. things are changing a bit, so we’d better get moving on that other blog – please use any image you think is ok so we can move forward.

    • Hi Kate – I’m glad it helps. However, I still hear the echo of one woman’s words to me that “if you have met one person with dementia, you have met one person with dementia.”

      You seem to be very prepared and accepting of what is very difficult to recognize and accept.

      You continue to help keep my heart soft. Much appreciated!

      Hugs, Kay

  2. […] in particular seems to remember things that have a negative emotion — the loss of the cars, where the man lived she did not like. I don’t want to spend the rest of my time with her in a defensive […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: