How many times can you hear you have dementia?

Due to the dementia, both of my parents are well below average ability in being able to maintain new information. How must it make them feel to hear this diagnosis over and over again?

I have to imagine it’s awful. Just thinking that this may happen to me brings tears to my eyes. Not as much for me, but for the impact it will have on my husband and kids.

I’ve been mourning the loss of my parents for more than two years.

When we visit the doctors at the hospital, both parents sit through very specific details about their testing and are invited to ask questions. My dad just listens.

My mom was put off by having the doctor only talk to my dad, so she asks for the doctor to do the same thing for her. She, unlike my dad, asks LOTS of questions as well as sprinkles in rebuttals and disagreement with the information presented to her.

My mom is still in denial while my dad seems to accept the information.

In the end, I’m much more versed on my parents mental states as well as understand what to watch for that would signal another step into more substantial care needs.

Dr. P did a great job of using a visual and telling them what’s within the normal range and what’s either above or below normal for their age.

Looking back, I realize how overwhelming and debilitating hearing this information must be. They heard how their brains were failing, that there is nothing you can do to reverse this loss, and over time it will only get worse.

The next step is to see and be under the care of a Neurologist who can help us learn more.

I don’t think I want my parents to have to sit through that again. There is no cure. It only digresses. This doesn’t agree with my glass half full self. Dejected.

9 comments on “How many times can you hear you have dementia?

  1. […] wrote my sister to tell her Dad is now driving again. While I took them to the doctor last week and they were told over and over again that they are unable to drive due to their mental health, my mom reports that at this appointment, […]

  2. […] My parent’s last appointments were brutal on the three of us. It was an ongoing three-hour review of testing and I left totally bummed for my parents as well as just exhausted. We sat through hours of details on their memory and brain deficits. […]

  3. […] My parents are unable to accept or understand, or both, that there is something wrong (How many times can you hear you have dementia?) […]

  4. […] Over the past year, my mom has been with no less than 4 doctor’s who have diagnosed dementia. I wonder if she was so wired to resist and fight, she was unable to really understand or accept the information.  I have discussed these visits previously in I only saw the doctor to discuss your father; Can we see your daughter alone; Can the geriatrician help move our parent’s forward; and How many times can you hear you have dementia? […]

  5. […] more than a year and a half ago, we would sit through hours of discussions with doctors who were telling my parent’s they had dementia. My mom would argue and my Dad would sit quietly.  I realized that not only were my parent’s […]

  6. […] the third meeting with the medical team assembled would make a difference. Then, I watched during a 3-hour meeting when my parents got the results of their cognitive mental testing and finally realized that no matter how many times; who the information came from; or how much […]

  7. […] tried both of these tactics. My mom would refute or deny examples. She continued to do this with the doctors when they would tell her she had a stroke and later when vascular dementia was […]

  8. […] in August, 2012, I wrote a blog wondering How Many Times Can you Hear You Have Dementia? I kept trying to find the right doctor, or test results to help my parents understand why we were […]

  9. […] my parent’s were fighting me and my siblings because they felt like they were doing fine, I thought getting different doctor’s to confirm their diagnosis might help. I sat with them through three different doctor’s telling them they had vascular dementia […]

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