My brothers visited and disabled my parents cars. They had their licenses revoked due to their medical condition, but continued to drive. We felt we didn’t have any choice but to take this action to keep them and others safe.
Even before this happened, my mom knew they shouldn’t be driving and would give me a reason why they were leaving the retirement community, where they should be living full-time, and driving to their townhouse.
Over the course of a month, my mom told me seven different times that they had to get to the townhouse for a home owners association meeting. The seventh time she told me this, I challenged her story. It didn’t seem reasonable that they were having seven meetings over the course of one month. I was convinced she was making up all these meetings to defend their trips.
A day after I challenged her story, she invited me to the next meeting. First it was on Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday. I asked her for the president’s number so I could call to understand what was happening.
While my mom has trouble managing the day and was struggling with when the meeting was going to happen – they had held 4 meetings in the past 4 weeks.
Yeah, she was telling the truth.
If you aren’t around a person with dementia, in the moderate stage (at least for my mom), they will tell you stories that are confabulations. The story seems reasonable, and if you had not spent time with them to know, you would have no idea what they are telling you isn’t factual.
The only way I have found to know when my mom is telling the truth versus giving me a confabulation is to spend the day with her. I’ve moved beyond my disbelief.
Now my mom is in the habit and calling me to tell me why they are going back to the retirement community. It’s always a doctor’s appointment.
I’m no longer interested in knowing the truth as much these days. Indifferent.
If you have suggestions, please share them.