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Returning Home Never Felt This Sad Before

My brothers arrived the day before I was leaving to visit my husband’s family. I have not left town without a sibling coming in to visit my parents for the past year. When we learned my dad’s driver’s license was revoked and he continued to drive — and that my mom was encouraging this behavior — we knew we had to act.

My parents have clearly lost the ability to make good decisions and are working together to glide further and further into the danger zone.

One brother sent notes so I could share the chain of events for others who may have to face a similar situation. I know the notes don’t convey the half of it. Any engagement with your parent suffering from dementia takes a huge toll on your well-being. You struggle to communicate and get frustrated when you can’t find the comfortable rhythm that once existed. Sometimes, it will take me days to realize the dampness an exchange with my parents has left on me.

I have never felt this sad about returning home. I need to go home so I can find the silver lining in this journey — I know it’s there.

I fly home with a general sense of malaise. It’s only going to get harder from here. Dreaded.

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