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Operation Safety Net: Day 6

With only one of my brothers still in town, things are deteriorating. My parents are now taking taxi cab rides back to their townhouse whenever the mood strikes them. At least they are not driving.

My brother gets his first phone call since being in town from my mother in the morning ordering him to come to the townhouse and bring some “#%! bread!” My brothers had been taking food, snacks, and supplies from the townhouse to their new permanent residence. Now with only one sibling in town, my mother is barking orders and making demands, and is uncharacteristically agitated.

My brother stays calm and goes to the townhouse to remind them they  need to be living in the retirement community full time per the doctor’s orders and he is here to take them there now. She says she wants the cars back, and she is in a fowl and unruly mood. She is spouting all kinds of confabulations and stories. This was the fight expected initially, it just took some time.  Things are not calm.

At one terrible moment my mother stands aggressively over him to challenge a statement her son had made. He stands up to try and check her aggression, but she gets violent slapping, hitting, and trying to kick him. He reflexively pushes her back into her chair, and my father yells “ leave her alone!”  It is a very bad moment, and everybody is tense and upset.

My brother works to restore calm and all travel back to the retirement community. They have lunch together and my brother asks if he can help with any errands. My mom asks for him to take her to her townhouse. My brother asks why she wants to go — are there things they might still need to get?

She has no list, she just wants to go. My brother refuses to drive them back. They both try and negotiate. My brother fearing another heated moment simply takes leave. My parents then go to the concierge desk and ask for a cab while complaining about their sons taking their cars to such a degree that the concierge alerts her supervisor. My brother gets a call asking if everything is alright. He explains, and says that he cannot stop them from getting a cab, but thanked her for call.

My brother has had no further contact with my parents and is still in town. He is going to seek counsel from the retirement community therapist to see what options he has or techniques he can deploy after  the past deteriorating events. Frazzled

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