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Will We Have to Wait for the Defining Moment?

A fellow blogger, Butch, who is caring for his aging parents, shared the story “Alzheimer’s and the Devil Called Denial.”  It helped me understand how easy it was for my dad not to recognize the signs of my mom’s progressing dementia. However, we think the strain on him in helping shore up my mom resulted in his own declining cognitive issues.

One of the things the author Marie Marley discusses is how it took a defining moment before she could acknowledge the issues of her soul mate.

For two years I’ve held my breath that the defining moment would come. My siblings and I have had family meetings with both parents together to share our concern that one of those moments would come and radically change their lives, and maybe the lives of others in an instant.

The last time we had this discussion it was just my brother and I after our visit with a doctor who reviewed recommendations with my parents. My mom turned to my brother at one point and said that she felt the role reversal – how many times had they sat him down and had a similar discussion about his life choices and his and other’s safety? Did he listen? Schooled.

A note from the author: My brother wasn’t bad and I was good. I just happened to avoid the line of fire on this day.

2 comments on “Will We Have to Wait for the Defining Moment?

  1. As you know, I read your blogs with interest, and often feel deeply saddened learning about the pain of the ‘other side of the coin’. This blog however gave me a good laugh, the last paragraph in particular as when I was nursing in a dementia unit, it was something I often heard, as the residents used to say similar things such as, ‘stop treating me like a bossy parent or teacher’, and ‘I bet you never listened to yours!!’ And I hope a defining moment comes soon. xo

    • I still hope we never have one! You didn’t wait to have one … why do my parents need to have something bad happen before they will accept where we have been placed? Maybe a better question for TheDementiaDialogue!

      Best, Kay

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