While I’m away and my brother and sister are visiting my parents, I’m sharing their stories. They are taking on some things I could not manage that will help with the medical follow-ups so we can get a clearer picture of our parents’ health. Something they have kept hidden from us for several years now. This one is from my brother.
When I called my mom, she was upset. Like she asked, we gave her the report from the psychologist. The three things he recommends she does not like and insists the psychologist has made a mistake and this report is about my dad.
I confirm that this report (with her name on it) is indeed for her. She rejects what I say and insists she has a good memory. She challenges me to give her one example. I give her three.
I reconfirm my arrival into town and the follow-up appointment to get blood drawn. We all agreed the only way to make sure they don’t eat and get this done properly is to have someone in the house with them to manage them through this process.
She immediately denies that there is any medical appointment or need to do this. She says, “I can give blood anytime I want to” and states that she won’t go. I tell her that doesn’t make sense since she needs to fast before the appointment and there is a specific place we need to go to ensure she gets the right blood tests. She turns very combative while I’m staying very neutral. When I ask her why she wouldn’t want to go she just gets more agitated in her responses.
I change the subject to confirm my arrival tomorrow night and tell her I’m looking forward to the visit. I could hear her exhale and she seemed relieved to be ending this phone call.
I know I can’t reason with someone who has lost their ability to reason. I don’t know how to make her remember that she can’t remember. It seems like the more she doesn’t know, the more she fabricates. It’s like an automatic protective reflex now. I wonder how long she has been honing this skill. Flustered.